how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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