So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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