A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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