If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops