A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops