What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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