A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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wenis

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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9/11 my birthday

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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