Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops