But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Golf.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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