a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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