Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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