If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Diarrhea

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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