Diarrhea

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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