Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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