Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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wenis

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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