Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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the sky is green no it is not

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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