- Anti Joke

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

What does water smell like? water.

knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

kill yourself....with a cigarette

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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