What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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kk

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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