Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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