How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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