If life hands you lemons Take them

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Religion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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