You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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