how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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