how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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