Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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BIG PENIS

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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