The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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The Mets win the World Series

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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apple pie.

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45.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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