Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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dildo

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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I'm Spartacus

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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