why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Women's rights.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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