Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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to see a bad joke look above

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AND

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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who just made fun of katie matt

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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