Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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I love you.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Winking at old people

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Five guys one rape.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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