What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

Ben is gay

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

AND

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

Like my status for a tbh?

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

George W. Bush

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

Laura Pratz..

My life

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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