How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess what? SHADAP

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops