A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I Love Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the woman die Because she was old

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops