YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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American healthcare.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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blubber vaginass CC

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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You.

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wat?

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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dildo

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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