What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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