A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops