ASSCHEEKS

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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youre gay

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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