Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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i have aids and a chode

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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