Liars go to hell! -God

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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