Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Asians...

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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