A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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