Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jess Burns

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Goat balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ruller

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops