what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Women's Rights...

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops