What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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