Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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I Love Hitler.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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P0P T4Rt

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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