yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Dumbledore dies.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops