(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

BIG MAC'S

Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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