Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

Yellow People !!

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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