Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Niall Horan

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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