What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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