How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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son, you're adopted.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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I can't see my forehead

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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