Rick Perry.

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

Where to, sir? Forward.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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