I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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62

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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The government makes a good decision

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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womens rights

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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