i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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DERP

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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The

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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wat?

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Liars go to hell! -God

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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