A baby seal walks in to a club

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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62

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A black man killed someone

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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the cow goes moo

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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jgkbk,mn

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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