A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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