What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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