Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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69

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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