What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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What is 9+10? 19

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops